The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

Found this recently, and what a great way to look at prioritizing!  

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Start of Labor- April 2012

LABOR

Early on in the pregnancy Daddy had said he'd love if Baby came on April 18th.  The 18th holds special meaning to Daddy because he was born on the 18th, many of his family members were born on the 18th, and Mommy and Daddy got married in December on the 18th.  He thought it would be fun if she were too and it would make it really easy to remember!  Well, little Kairi ALWAYS listens to Daddy (so far)...  She decided despite what the Dr said, she was going to make her Daddy happy.

Sunday, April 15th Mommy could not sleep at all, little Kairi decided she wanted to be very active and kept pushing on Mommy.  To pass time Mommy played some games and tried to distract herself with baths.  Bathing was a favorite pregnancy past-time for Mommy because she used that time to play with Baby, every time Baby would kick Mommy would tap the area.  It was their own little game of tapping each other back and forth!  When it was finally late enough in the morning to wake Daddy, Mommy made him chocolate chip waffles and cranberry juice to eat in bed.  She had been watching Daddy off and on through the night and couldn't believe how very blessed she was to have someone so loving and amazing by her side.  She wanted to wake him up properly the morning of their 39 week doctor appointment.

Monday, April 16th Mommy had her 39 week visit with the doctor to see how far along things were and check to see if she was dilating or effacing at all.  This was the very first time the doctor was checking dilation and Mommy was so excited because she was certain she must be a little dilated from the Braxton Hicks Contractions!  Much to Mommy's dismay though this wasn't the case.  The doctor informed her and Daddy that there was no dilation or effacing.  The cervix was a little soft, but that was it!  Doctor told Mommy and Daddy that we'll have to look into possibly inducing and we would schedule that at our 40 week visit if Baby hadn't arrived.  :-(  That car ride home was a sad one for Mommy...  She so wanted to have her little girl all naturally and didn't want to wait so long for the arrival.  The idea of inducing was not a positive one to Mommy, but if she had to, then she had to.

Late that night Mommy and Daddy were playing games and Mommy started feeling some contractions.  These contractions came about 20 to 30 minutes apart.  She was excited, but didn't know if it was just more Braxton Hicks that were a bit harder.  When she went to the bathroom though she saw what could be a little Bloody Show, or it could just be from the Doctor visit.  It was so hard not to get her hopes up that things were moving along; the chances of going from nothing to maybe starting labor seemed like a stretch.  Mommy tried to get some sleep Monday night, but it was hard with the contractions coming.  She let Daddy rest and got some stuff done around the house and tried to keep the contractions coming.

Tuesday, April 17th Mommy was still having her contractions and Daddy needed to go to work, he told her to call if they got 7 minutes apart for a while.  At this point her contractions were 10 to 20 minutes apart.  They still didn't feel too bad though, so she was able to get a lot done that day.  Every time she had a new contraction she got more excited, but didn't know if it was safe to get her hopes up just yet.  When Daddy got home he started running around and making sure the house was ready in case Baby decided she was going to really come soon.  He mowed the lawn, did laundry, picked up some, and he and Mommy finally put up the final wall decal that arrived just in time!  That night Mommy and Daddy rested together and timed contractions in excitement.  Each time they got closer Mommy and Daddy thought this could really be it!  Daddy went to bed early that night and Mommy stayed up again with her contractions... it was important one of them be rested.  Through the night they kept getting a little stronger and a little closer together.

Wednesday, April 18th was the BIG DAY!  That morning Mommy called Grammy around 5:00am to give her a heads up that she was having contractions about 7 to 8 minutes apart.  Mommy wanted some support since Daddy was still asleep and she wanted him to get his rest.  As the call went on the contractions got closer together and more intense.  Grammy reassured Mommy and gave her some comfort and advice.  Mommy even started having some contractions that were coming 5 to 6 minutes apart now!  When it was 6:00am she decided to wake up Daddy so he could do any last minute things he wanted to.  They packed their bags and double checked them.  Daddy started cleaning the house while Mommy timed contractions and took a bath to relax.  She called the hospital whenever her contractions were consistently getting to be 6 minutes apart.  They told her that once they were 6 minutes or less apart for 2 hours to call again.  That wouldn't be too far away, little did Mommy know that Baby was determined to make it on the day Daddy wanted!

Year Round Family Traditions: Family Bonding

Family Mail Boxes-  Kids and parents both love getting mail (aside from junk mail).  Having mailboxes in the home where family members can write messages and draw pictures for each other is a great opportunity to send encouraging, uplifting, and loving notes...  these messages can also be great for children who aren't sure how to say something face to face, let them express how they feel through writing it out.  The cards/letters don't have to be long, a simple message is just as meaningful!  The mailboxes can be crafted by each family member and kept somewhere safe.  It's important not to forget to have a station where the family members will be able to write each other.  This writing area should have scrap paper, note cards, pens, pencils, markers, envelopes, crayons, stickers, etc.    

Family Newsletter-   This can be done as often as you like, we will start off doing one newspaper monthly.  The kids can all write sections, help mom and dad write sections when they are too little, and even draw pictures for the newspaper.  The paper can cover their newest achievements, their friends, family activities, etc.  Take the time to explain the 5 W's and 1 H of writing stories whenever they are old enough to start writing their own: Who, What, Where, When, Why, How?!?!?  These newspapers can then be given to extended family members.  If we get responses from our "readers"  we can use them and address them in future issues.  Just let it be extremely creative and crafty, especially when they are younger so it's a fun project each month.  Let them paint on the newsletter, put stickers on it, draw, color, and make it a little messy.  Make sure you keep a copy of each month in a scrapbook for your own keepsake.

Family Cookbook-  This will be an ongoing project as we discover new recipes we love.  Each family member will rate our meals with a star rating and possibly write a review whenever it's something new we're trying.  The cookbook can also be an opportunity to get some friends and family's favorite recipes gathered all in one place.  We'll take note of where the different recipes are coming from on their page.  We can also add stories to some of the recipes if they have special meaning, many times recipes are linked to fond times that we want to remember.  At the end of the year we can put the cookbook together and get it printed out complete with pictures, reviews, star ratings, stories, and recipes from all our friends and family.  Continue to create and add to this cookbook every year or make a new one when there is enough new content to make it worth it.  Encourage others to make notes in their copies and add to them so that the next time you get it printed you can add their thoughts!  Don't be afraid to make the book more ABOUT the family and less about the recipes.  Let the kids in on the fun, have them draw pictures and add to the cookbook, but don't forget to have them sign and date their work.  I loved some of the tips http://www.food.com/bb/viewtopic.zsp?t=330731 gave about creating a family cookbook.

Message from Mommy

Dear Kairi, 

        I'm over nine and a half months pregnant now and am so looking forward to finally holding you in my arms for the first time.  It has been an incredible journey getting to know you already and I am amazed by how very much I already adore you!  Never in my wildest dreams could I have known how deep a mothers love for her daughter could be.  Your simplest movements make me so proud and fill my heart with joy, it's amazing how the smallest things can take up the biggest parts of your heart.

        Whenever I married your father I thought my life was complete here.  I had a lovely home and a partner to share life's journey with.  It was an exciting time, and he and I had loved planning our future family and talking about all the wonderful places we could take our children one day.  When we discovered you were on the way everything became so much sweeter.  Daddy and I had each other, but now we have everything because you are coming into our lives.  There is so much we can't wait to show you, teach you, and experience with you.  

        Daddy has been so great these past nine months and he already loves you so much!  He spends lots of time talking to you, feeling you move, rubbing my belly, and getting the house all set up for you.  He painted your room and put all your items together.  It was so very fun getting your nursery set up together and I cannot wait till we finally bring you home to your little purple and pink safari themed room.  You are already so spoiled because we just want the best life has to offer you.  We may not always have that luxury, but know it's one of our desires to give you everything you need and some things you will want/cherish all your life.  You are so blessed with all the love surrounding you already and it will only grow as you do.

        One of my greatest prayers for you since I found out you were on your way is that you are blessed all your life.  The dictionary has a few definitions for Blessed...  The first is to be consecrated, this means that you are set apart and dedicated to God as long as you live.  Following His purpose is life's greatest reward.  Secondly, blessed can be defined as worthy of adoration.  You are so special, there is no one like you, never has been and never will be.  You deserve to be adored for who you are never forget that.  The next definition I really love, you will be divinely and supremely favored.  I have prayed blessings over you and I know God honors prayers.  In everything you do I believe you will be blessed and shown His favor.  Always put your heart into anything you decide to undertake and don't forget that you ARE chosen and set apart.  Finally, being blessed can mean being blissfully happy and contented.  Please understand that life can and will be hard at times, but it's who you are and what you make of it that matters.  You can choose to be happy and you can choose to be sad...  Decide every day that you will make the best of it and it will be a good day.  One of the first songs I heard when I was pregnant is a major reason I chose this prayer for you.  It was Elton John's "Blessed".

         Know that I will always love you, you are my daughter.  I look forward to teaching you to be a woman of integrity, honor, wisdom, gentleness, strength, courage, compassion, thoughtfulness, beauty and excellence.  I know there will be days you will hurt and I will share in those pains just like I'll share in your joys and successes.  Just know that no matter what decisions you have made or where you go your mother will stand by your side.  I will always be here to give you advice and to just listen when you've lost your way.  There is nothing that can change how much I love you, and I know that mistakes get you where you are going... so learn from them and appreciate the lessons.  In the end you will be the woman I know you are destined to be and that the journey is just part of the process.  For now, I will hold you tight.  Please know you will always have my arms to run to no matter what age you are.  I cannot always protect you from the world, but I can catch you when you fall, if you let me.    

         

         Life is full of wonder, beauty, and extraordinary moments.  When you get through the darkest times you will discover just how sweet life can be on the other side of your pain.  Explore all the world has to offer, find new activities you love.  Take part in life, don't just watch it go by.  Travel the world and learn to love experiences more than objects.  Things in this life come and go, but experiences, friendship, and family build character and lifetime memories!  Cherish your family and honor them for they will always be your foundation and your rock.  Seek God out in all places and make your own joy, don't wait for it to just happen.  I love you so very much and look forward to the many years we will spend together!  For now daddy and I await your arrival and the day that will change our lives for forever!


Love You, 
Mommy
"No one will ever know the strength of my love for you.  After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside." 

Year Round Family Traditions- Family Nights

"Family traditions counter alienation and confusion.  

They help us define who we are; they provide 

something steady, reliable and safe in a 

confusing world." ~Susan Lieberman

I was thinking about the importance of traditions and making memories as a family.  It is so important to me that my children have a deep rooted appreciation for family time.  I truly believe that traditions help shape a family and it somehow creates a sense of unity.  As I am nearing the birth of my daughter it has become that much more important that I create some special ideas that will make her childhood more than just ordinary and form strong bonds as a family unit.  Here are a few ideas I would like to start doing!

Family Night:  One night a week where we spend the night as a family doing something fun. This night will be special because we will have a nice dinner, dessert, and a fun activity.  Would love to give everyone in the family an official invite to that weeks Family Night at the start of the week so they have an idea of what we'll be doing and can look forward to that time!  This also sends a message to our children that the night is important and reinforces the priority of family.  The kids can invite others to family night...  as long as we're all together, that's what REALLY matters and we want this to be something they really look forward to!  
"When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses." ~Joyce Brothers
  

Possible Activities:  

Movie Night-  The whole night can be themed around whatever movie is being watched that night.  We would have dinner that fit with the theme, maybe an activity that would go hand in hand with the movie, a concession stand, ticket stand, comfy seating, and review the movie before going to bed...  everyone gives it a star rating, little kids can draw a favorite scene or character, older kids can write a quick blurb of what they thought and if they'd recommend it, etc.  Can also do a double feature where we do a fun family movie and then take an intermission to put the kids to bed so mom and dad can have a movie night together cuddling and enjoying a more adult flick. www.commonsensemedia.org/  is a great site to check out how appropriate a film is, what it's about, what parents should know before seeing it, "appropriate age", and topics to talk about after seeing the film!  http://www.thedatingdivas.com/date-night/at-home/ has some wonderful movie themed ideas too!
"I think cinema, movies, and magic have always been closely associated.  The very earliest people who made film were magicians." ~Francis Ford Coppola


Game Night-  The night can also follow a theme depending on what games will be played that night.  We would keep a family scoreboard from the games we've played so we can look back at some of the highest and lowest scores people have had.  Winner could get an award of some sort...  a medal, their name on reigning champ board, etc.  We'd have fun gaming snacks around the table while we play.  Family game night is a great chance to teach children how to win and lose with a great attitude.  Make it fun no matter how well they are playing, but don't let them win just to win.  It's a great life skill to learn how to lose gracefully and enjoy the time spent playing.  Have a wide variety of games to choose from and pick ones that are different or even draw the game from a jar to make it "fair".  If a game isn't going well, feel free to switch to another game that people may be more interested in that night.  Some nights just aren't nights to run around acting like a chicken and may be more sitting down playing some strategic card game.  Go with the mood and just enjoy the time together!  http://www.hasbro.com/games/en_US/ has some great tips on picking games and making a great game night!  
"It's not about winning or losing.  It's about how you play the game" ~Grantland Rice


Cooking with Mommy and Daddy- This would be a themed night around a certain "culture".  So there would be Mexican night, Chinese night, Italian night, American night, etc.  Music and table would be set up to reflect the culture.  We would take the time to have everyone help out in the kitchen making our recipes from SCRATCH.  Building a pizza from just the authentic ingredients would make it that much more special when we sit down to enjoy it.  To make the cooking more fun we can have aprons and chef hats.  While things are cooking we could have the kids decorate their own place-mats.  When the kids are older we can encourage them to get creative and write down their recipes that were successful.  We could even do a little game where they get blindfolded and have to guess the ingredient.
"Cooking is at once child's play and adult joy.  And cooking done with care is an act of love."  ~Craig Claiborne  


Art Night-  This night can be so many different activities: painting, crafting, sculpting, collages, paper mache, etc.  It's important to set up a space where you won't have to worry about things getting a little messy.  Encourage them to make a mess and have fun creating whatever it is their little heart desires!  We can all do our own little art project and then at the end all work together to create one "family masterpiece".  Afterwards the artwork can be displayed as a little gallery dedicated to our families creativity.  When it's time to put up new art projects we can take pictures/scan the old art work for a scrapbook and store them away.  One idea I heard that was really neat if things pile up is to host a little art show where we could invite our extended family to see the years collection and possibly "buy" these pieces if they'd like.  Just some pocket change for the kids, but a great way to keep the clutter down and allow the grandparents, aunts, and uncles in on the fun art we've made!
"Art is the only way to run away without leaving home."  ~Twyla Tharp


Tourist for the Night-  This night would be all about exploring new areas around our town we haven't tried out before.  Of course we'll make sure we have the camera and a little spending money if there is anything really neat we come across.  It's a great chance to try a new restaurant, check out a little store, visit a new park, or do something that a tourist would find really interesting in the area that you just don't always get around to or think of when you live in the area!   
"The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land."  ~Gilbert Keith Chesterton


Activity Jar-  This family night is left to luck with us selecting an activity from the activity jar in the morning (gives mom time to get things ready depending on what we're doing).  This is how you can add a WIDE variety to family nights without overdoing some of these activities that take more time, money, planning, or you just want them to be more special.  Fill the jar with many fun ideas...  you can edit the jar to be a few depending on the weather, money, and time.  A few ideas for the Activity Jar:  Bowling, Take Fun/Silly Pictures, Scavenger Hunt, Make a Family Movie/Film, Build an Elaborate Indoor Fort, Mini Golf, Treasure Hunt with Map, Water Fight (complete with water balloons, water guns, etc), Food Fight (hershey syrup, caramel, marshmallows, etc), Formal Dinner at Home, Wash the Car (this can be a blast), Capture the Flag, Tag, Frisbee, 4-Square, Biking, Hiking, Horseback Riding, Laser Tag, Movies, Backyard Campout, etc.  The variety is endless and highly customizable to your family.
"Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities."  ~Aldous Huxley